With sea otter, we had sexual tension from the start. The first time I laid eyes on him he was in line at a food court. We locked eyes… and I was on my way. Long story short, he turned out to be a mutual friend and from then on it was just accepted that we would bang some day.
From a classy meeting at a tacky mall food court to a night on the town months later… this was it: I was going to get with sea otter.
He was more than a pretty face and a hot body though, we had a lot in common, and if it weren’t for the distance, maybe something could have worked out?
Anyways, so he came to stay at a hotel in my city and me and a girlfriend went to pre drink with him and his friend. Sea otter was lookin’ fine that night, and I was getting wasted.
I usually control my alcohol consumption, but this night was an exception. I had only ever talked to him via texting and facebook, so I thought a little liquid courage would make the world go round (bad idea, you’ll soon find out why).
So the four of us make it to the club, we’re dancing, I’m drinking, we’re making out, I’m drinking, we’re on our way out… oh… I get one more drink.
Notice how sea otter never drank in that span of time? Oh yeah, ‘CAUSE HE DOESN’T DRINK.
So I’m absolutely shittered, and he’s walking me to the hotel. Despite the fact that I was absolutely wasted, I knew what I wanted: his dick.
We don’t waste time. Elevator make out sesh: check. Sloppy make out in front of our room: check (though this part is still fuzzy). Now we’re making out in his hotel room, things were gettin’ heated… and I had the spins.
So he’s sober, and I’m absolutely shit-faced… So I thought I’d go down and do what I do best: head.
Unfortunately, he was particularly easy to deep throat (if you catch my drift). I’m going all out here… poor guy almost came I was so good. He was enjoying every second of it, as for myself… well… there was a moment when I couldn’t hold it in. I full-on vomited on his dick.
LUCKILY, he was so into it… he didn’t notice. I was able to suck back all that tequila-vodka-151 and slyly continue on.
"Uhm… gimme one second."
I headed to the bathroom to let that vile mixture out… and man did I let it out.
Back to the bed, I gave him more head, and then decided it was time to excuse myself. Sorry sea otter, the smack down is not going down tonight.
Like a gentleman, he walks me to a cab, pays for it, and sends me on my way… and like a gentleman he called me the next morning to make sure I was up in time for my first shift at work.
I wasn’t. Worst hangover ever. Did I really vomit on a guy’s dick last night?