BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE NEEDS

Okay so I’d like to think I’m a pretty spontaneous person, but lately I haven’t been so spontaneous-especially when it comes to my sex life. I think having sex regularly is healthy, for the mind and body.

This past year I had to adjust to being newly single, and not having the advantage of having sex whenever I want. After coyote and I broke up, I was pretty fine with not getting laid. As time went on, I ended up seeing a couple guys who I really liked, and as a plus, it was nice to get it in again. But when I think back, I always planned when the next time I was going to get laid. 

For example, through this past summer I started sleeping with one of my friends: tiger shark. We were in the same friend group, and our sex was explosive. So I kind of had the idea in my mind that whenever I went out with that particular group of friends, I’d get laid. This was me planning out my sex life, and being completely okay with it.

Well in recent months, tiger shark moved two hours away from me. This caused a slight problem: how the heck was I supposed to plan out my sex life now?!

So last week I was drinking at a bar with a couple friends. We had a great time, and once I got home I sat in my room by myself chatting with a girlfriend on facebook. I was so horny I could not contain myself.

Sure, for many, this is a time when masturbation comes in handy… problem for me is that I’ve never EVER tried this. I just don’t think I could bring myself to do it. I need connection, and for this reason, I don’t think I’ll ever touch myself for pleasure.

So I thought about the past guys I’ve slept with, and if any of them were conveniently around. None. Hmm… maybe it’s time to branch out, try someone new. 

I had the perfect guy in mind: panther. I met panther a couple years prior, and always thought he was an absolute babe. He’s tall, and exotic… and I could just tell he’d be worth my while. Lucky for me, panther goes to my school, and although we don’t see each other around too often, it was pretty much understood that we would hook up some day. And today was that day. 

So I sent him a text and asked if he was around during our reading break. He was.

I implied that I was pretty bored, and in need of some company for drinks. He invited me over to have a couple with him and his room mate. I hesitated, but as I looked at the time, I realized I only had 30 minutes to get to the liquor store for a little liquid courage. Oh my god amber, this is really happening. You’re rushing to get dressed and look cute… and you are going to get laid tonight. Hallelujah. 

Once I got to his place, the three of us just drank, talked and relaxed. What the hell is taking so long, why are we just small talking out here, I mean come on, I thought we were on the same page here… hmmm I guess I’ll wait it out. 

It was nearing 2:30 am, and finally we all headed to sleep. I pulled the whole “so I’ve had a couple drinks… you mind if I crash with you, I don’t think I should drive.”

As we enter his room, he gives me some comfy clothes to wear and we head to his bed. It’s tense, but the flirtation starts and I’m laying on his chest. We’re joking around and then we start to make out.

His lips were perfect, and quickly, he begins to take control. His strong arms position me the way he wants, we’re aggressively making out. I bite his lip. He rubs up against me. Just thinking about his stiff boner moving closer and closer to me is making my heart race.

I loved how in control he was. I’ve never been with a guys who took so much control in moving me around. I was so ready for this, and then we started to fuck.

He completely dominated me, and as it began to slow down, I moved down and began to give him oral. After I finished we layed down for a bit, it was late and we both began to pass out.

But he wasn’t done yet, he started to touch me. I was so wet. We went for it again, and this time I orgasmed immediately.

So now it’s understood, we are going to continue to call upon each other when we want to get it on. Success. My spontaneous booty call resulted in the perfect answer to my constant sexual question. Awh yeah, I can have sex whenever I want to again. 

So anteater was one of my first big crushes in high school. I was completely infatuated. I met him in my grade 10 math class, and I looked forward to that class just so I could try and get my flirt on (I was kind of an awkward nerd back in the day). So rumors circled that he might have had a crush on me too… oh my gosh hooray!… but nothing ever happened, besides some really sexual grinding at my first high school dance (remind me to discuss this later, it totally forshadowed my inner sexual being to come). 

Sighs, so nothing ever really started between us, although he did write in my year book “you were the only reason I came to math class.” That’s sweet right? 

So as summer started, I started to see this guy in the grade above, scorpion, my first serious boyfriend, my first love, my first everything. Safe to say, anteater was thrown on the back burner. I was over him. Besides, he turned out to be a complete idiot who skipped school and delved into the world of smoking and getting high (something I have never done before, am slightly against, and proud of it!).

So as scorpion and I developed a serious relationship, anteater tried to weasel his way back into my life. What started with casual flirting, turned into something far worse. 

One night it was a friend’s birthday scorpion and I went, as well as a bunch of our other friends, including anteater. Everyone was drinking and having a great time. At one point, I was outside with anteater and a few other friends, and I noticed he was getting a little too drunk. He was falling around everywhere, so I ran inside to grab him some water. Then I walked him inside, and set him on the couch. He past right out, and the rest of us continued to party. 

Scorpion went home with his friends, and I planned on staying the night with the rest of my friends. As we were all picking places to crash, I shottied the couch across from the one anteater past out on. However… when I got back from washing up some jerkoff took it upon himself to jack my spot. The only spot left was on the couch with anteater. 

It was innocent and all… my best friend was on one side, and anteater on the other. So I sandwiched myself in the middle and used anteater as a pillow. As everyone was falling asleep, anteater began to fidget. He was awake. 

I could feel his hand sliding down my stomach, and under my jeans. Then, under my lace thong. He turned to me and we started to kiss. After about 5 seconds I stopped. What was I thinking?! I had been dating scorpion for 9 months. Amber, you’re in love with scorpion, stop right now!! 

“I can’t do this,” I said, staring out the window as the sun started to rise.

“No one has to know,” he said as his hand reached further down my pants. 

We stopped making out… but I couldn’t help but let him touch me. I moved his hand further, guiding him to the right place. As much as I didn’t want to do this, part of me lusted for his attention. 

As people started to wake up, he continued you touch me underneath the blanket. The day went on, and a part of me felt awful. I called scorpion and told him that anteater was coming on to me, and meanwhile, anteater was telling all his friends how we hooked up. It was a story of he-said, she-said, and I gotta say, I was pretty good at playing the victim. Scorpion was furious, but through many tears and arguing, he forgave and believed my story… and our relationship continued. This was the turning point though. From that day forward things were never the same. He had lost some trust in me, and I had lost faith in myself and the relationship. Is this what I really wanted? I was crazy in love with scorpion, but part of me just wasn’t ready to commit.

To this day I still don’t completely know why that fateful night played out the way it did. I really did love scorpion. I loved him more than any other guy I’ve dated since then. But it was a different kind of love. It was passionate, and vengeful. He made me insane. I was crazy in love with him, but foolishly. I’m not proud of the first time I cheated, but it feels good to write about it here and get it off my chest. The story between scorpion and I has come to a close, but I think that anteater and I still have some unfinished business to take care of. 

I was 17 when this happened. I’m almost 21 now and I’ve grown a lot. We always learn from our mistakes, and I learned a lot from this one. In a future story… I will tell you exactly how I learned from this one—as 5 months after this incident another similar night with anteater helped me decide the fate of my relationship with scorpion. Except this time I didn’t cheat—the urge and temptation was enough for me to realize that I had fallen out of love with him, I needed to be free.  

read our glossary!

so at the end of this summer, I was fresh off of having a sort of non-exclusive relationship with a boy I’ve known/liked for years (one of the only boys I’ve ever really liked). I’ll think of a name for him later, I won’t be seeing him until this christmas again when he comes back from the other side of the country.

he had just left to do his masters degree, and I was feeling confident and detached. I’m good at willing away my feelings. it’s actually kind of sad. I had done summer courses here with Amber, but many of our friends had left for the four-month summer break and were now finally returning for school.

there was a big concert us and all of our friends were going to in the first week of september, and I saw our friend chimp there for the first time since before summer. he was on MDMA and I was drinking, rather heavily. we gave each other a hugeee hug and I complimented him on how good he looked.

somehow this turned into me being even bolder than usual and telling him that we would have “explosive” sex if we ever slept together. I didn’t really remember saying it, but he made sure to retell that part a few times in the next few weeks.

we spent a lot of the concert teasing each other. he’s better at it. he lives for building sexual tension. I was gonna lose it. there was an issue that we both had in mind: I’m best friends with his roommate. and his roommate will always have feelings for me in at least a small way. let’s call him teddy bear. not a real animal like the rest, but he deserves a name like that because he’s my best friend and whatever he’s great hahha.

chimp started saying how we shouldn’t do it to teddy. I pushed him down onto a booth in a seating area of the venue and climbed on top of him. “you need to stop,” he said, “you don’t even know the things I want to do to you right now. but we can’t.”

UGHHJAH please as if that’s gonna make me walk away.

he ended up going up to teddy, explaining the situation, and asking his permission to sleep with me. teddy gave him some small speech, but said yes.

chimp and me cabbed with Amber to our house, and me and him made our way downstairs to my room. 

it was. amazing. we were already so turned on that we needed very minimal foreplay the first time. it’s like he was designed for me, sexually. the sex was actually just perfect. we had so much fun. he’s so powerful (HIS BICEPS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD realz), and yet I loved being on top and taking control, too. I think he was the first person I’ve actually just 100 percent enjoyed being on top with. 

we had sex three times that night and showered together. we went for a random walk at 4am together as he felt like he was coming down off of M.

we agreed that the sex was too good not to do it again, and that we are both not relationship people.

perfect, I thought, this should be easy.

of course I was wrong. but we’ll get to that.

the next time we saw each other was a few nights later for another friend-group outing. I saw him and gave him a hug, even though things felt sliiightly awkward. at the show, we barely hung out, but when we did, there was the presence of a wordless agreement that tonight we’d definitely do it again. at one point a guy I’d slept with months before (we’ll call him hyena..that’s a good story) was following me around, but I was over it, so I went over to chimp, and said “can you do something about this?”

so he pinned me to the wall and kissed me. hyena left. I said thank you, and kept dancing with all of our friends.

at the end of the night we stood outside, and teddy went “chimp, come on man, let’s cab home?”

chimp made up an excuse that he was waiting for their other roommate. I was standing next to him… so it looked a little obvious. but we knew we should be stealth. we decided we would actually wait for his roomie.

but then, as we were waiting for him, he looked at my face, and I smirked, I was so excited we were going to sleep together again….”okay, we’re leaving. right now.”

we cabbed home and flirted intensely to the point that I knew the cab driver absolutely hated us. “so, race when we get back for who can undress the fastest?” he was saying to me, and I told him I’d probably win.

when we got outside his house, he’s like “okay, so now we’re climbing through my window and sneaking in, think you can fit through there?” he pointed as his window.

“UM, yes! I live to climb shit.” I exclaimed. (What? I love climbing stuff. I’m a kid at heart.)

“ruby, I was kidding.” he said, “I’m going to go through the back door, check if the coast is clear, then come back and get you.”

as soon as he went around the corner, I legit climbed on the wall, squeezed through the window onto his bed (practically cave myself a concussion by hitting my head during), and started undressing as fast as I could. I took off my high waisted skirt, ripped off my crop top that had been tucked into it, stripped off my underwear and unbuttoned my corsette bra. then I extended my body out on the bed and waited.

he came in, turned on the light, saw me, and almost jumped back. “holy shit, you’re…”

“I win.” I shrugged.

“wow. okay. you’re naked. that’s…awesome.”

and he came and wrapped me up in those amazing arms and we started making out. we had sex four times that night. we’d lay there, exhausted once we were done. and then we’d talk for a bit…and sure enough, we were ready to go again. the second time he actually lifted me up, so we were fucking with him standing up and my legs wrapped around him. I couldn’t believe how strong and sexy he was in that moment. the fourth time, we heard someone walking around downstairs.

“is someone there?” I asked,

“naw, naw it’s fine.” he said, “but maybe..maybe you could be a bit quieter.”

“I’ll tryy.” I couldn’t contain myself. it was just so good. he knew it, too. as much as he didn’t want to disturb his roommates, he would go from behind and thrust in, noticing the gasps I couldn’t help but let out and he’d go harder… I could tell he was loving it. I got louder and louder, but it was still quieter than I could have been, that’s for sure.

in the morning, after a couple hours of sleep, his door opened and I slid under the blanket to hide.

I heard the voice of one of his five roommates.

“hey man I, ohh—-” insert pause here for the person to notice that I was there, a lump in the blanket; I couldn’t recognize the voice yet.

“hey,” chimp replied, and I could hear his sheepish smile in his voice.

“you uhhh.. you goin to school?”

“doesn’t look like it man,” chimp laughed.

“alright well uh. keep on truckin’ bro,” and his roomie left. turns out it was one of his roommates that I am also quite close with. two minutes later, the door swung open again. I hid, but my toe was sticking out this time.

I heard teddy’s voice,

“hey…oh shit, do you.. have a girl in here?”

“no man,” chimp answered, “it’s uh, just me.”

MY. TOE. WAS. STICKING. OUT.

I can hear teddy SIT THE FUCK DOWN and proceed to make conversation with him about school, his classes, how his night was. is this real life? I was laughing to myself under the blanket almost blatantly. I knew teddy was just trying to figure out if it was me again or not. he finally left the room and I emerged into fresh air at last.

“I wanted to give you head, so what am I supposed to do now?” I asked chimp, “are they just gonna walk in one by one now, the other three of them?”

“yep, probably.”

“well then, what am I supposed to do?”

“give em a show.” he joked. I started giving him head, which turned into amazing morning sex.

he kissed me goodbye and I went home to spill to Amber about how amazing it was.

this is going to be fucking great, I thought to myself, we can just sleep together with no strings attached and keep having fun. nothing can go wrong here.

was I ever in for a ride.

( to be continued.)

regards,

ruby.