So anteater was one of my first big crushes in high school. I was completely infatuated. I met him in my grade 10 math class, and I looked forward to that class just so I could try and get my flirt on (I was kind of an awkward nerd back in the day). So rumors circled that he might have had a crush on me too… oh my gosh hooray!… but nothing ever happened, besides some really sexual grinding at my first high school dance (remind me to discuss this later, it totally forshadowed my inner sexual being to come).
Sighs, so nothing ever really started between us, although he did write in my year book “you were the only reason I came to math class.” That’s sweet right?
So as summer started, I started to see this guy in the grade above, scorpion, my first serious boyfriend, my first love, my first everything. Safe to say, anteater was thrown on the back burner. I was over him. Besides, he turned out to be a complete idiot who skipped school and delved into the world of smoking and getting high (something I have never done before, am slightly against, and proud of it!).
So as scorpion and I developed a serious relationship, anteater tried to weasel his way back into my life. What started with casual flirting, turned into something far worse.
One night it was a friend’s birthday scorpion and I went, as well as a bunch of our other friends, including anteater. Everyone was drinking and having a great time. At one point, I was outside with anteater and a few other friends, and I noticed he was getting a little too drunk. He was falling around everywhere, so I ran inside to grab him some water. Then I walked him inside, and set him on the couch. He past right out, and the rest of us continued to party.
Scorpion went home with his friends, and I planned on staying the night with the rest of my friends. As we were all picking places to crash, I shottied the couch across from the one anteater past out on. However… when I got back from washing up some jerkoff took it upon himself to jack my spot. The only spot left was on the couch with anteater.
It was innocent and all… my best friend was on one side, and anteater on the other. So I sandwiched myself in the middle and used anteater as a pillow. As everyone was falling asleep, anteater began to fidget. He was awake.
I could feel his hand sliding down my stomach, and under my jeans. Then, under my lace thong. He turned to me and we started to kiss. After about 5 seconds I stopped. What was I thinking?! I had been dating scorpion for 9 months. Amber, you’re in love with scorpion, stop right now!!
"I can’t do this," I said, staring out the window as the sun started to rise.
"No one has to know," he said as his hand reached further down my pants.
We stopped making out… but I couldn’t help but let him touch me. I moved his hand further, guiding him to the right place. As much as I didn’t want to do this, part of me lusted for his attention.
As people started to wake up, he continued you touch me underneath the blanket. The day went on, and a part of me felt awful. I called scorpion and told him that anteater was coming on to me, and meanwhile, anteater was telling all his friends how we hooked up. It was a story of he-said, she-said, and I gotta say, I was pretty good at playing the victim. Scorpion was furious, but through many tears and arguing, he forgave and believed my story… and our relationship continued. This was the turning point though. From that day forward things were never the same. He had lost some trust in me, and I had lost faith in myself and the relationship. Is this what I really wanted? I was crazy in love with scorpion, but part of me just wasn’t ready to commit.
To this day I still don’t completely know why that fateful night played out the way it did. I really did love scorpion. I loved him more than any other guy I’ve dated since then. But it was a different kind of love. It was passionate, and vengeful. He made me insane. I was crazy in love with him, but foolishly. I’m not proud of the first time I cheated, but it feels good to write about it here and get it off my chest. The story between scorpion and I has come to a close, but I think that anteater and I still have some unfinished business to take care of.
I was 17 when this happened. I’m almost 21 now and I’ve grown a lot. We always learn from our mistakes, and I learned a lot from this one. In a future story… I will tell you exactly how I learned from this one—as 5 months after this incident another similar night with anteater helped me decide the fate of my relationship with scorpion. Except this time I didn’t cheat—the urge and temptation was enough for me to realize that I had fallen out of love with him, I needed to be free.Source: oopswediditagain